W Leggett

Surprise Birthday

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday.

My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids.

I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.

As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special.

She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment.

We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said.

She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!”…

…while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

W Leggett

W Leggett

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

W Leggett

FROM ED  SAVAGE 

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.

AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Dick Storey

 Bill--

Source: Feb. 16, 2024 issue of The Week (magazine)

“With revenues dropping & losses mounting, outlets like The Washington Post, Tie, Vox, Business Insider, NPR, ESPN, BBC, CNN, and ABC have shed hundreds of journalists. The iconic Sports Illustrated and music website Pitchfork were gutted and Buzzfeed eliminated its news division.  The L.A. Times laid off more than 20% of its newsroom.”

“Not all news organizations are dying. A few prestigious outlets like The NY Times and The New Yorker continue to do fine journalism and make money. Cable, network, and local TV news still toss off profits.”

Tech companies have experienced large layoffs.

W Leggett

Dick Storey, YES I AGREE with you. What we don't see is the full story of the layoff. California has closed down a lot of its NEWS locations. They are part of the New York Times printing, Reporter's. 

San Francisco just laid off a few thousand individuals who worked for different Newspapers, and other News networks.

W Leggett

W Leggett

W Leggett

W Leggett

W Leggett

A LITTLE RAIN IN CALIFORNIA

Dick Storey

Happy birthday Don!

Tommy Morton

Bill sent me a Message this morning at 3:08AM that he is in the hospitol with heart issues. He may or may not need surgery and will not know till later today what is going on. If I get any more details, I will post what I know here. That is all the info he had. 

Connie Schuerman (Von Dielingen)

Thanks for posting Tommy.  And yes, please keep us updated on Bill !!  Sending prayers ! 

Bill Williams

_{HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON}

Bill Williams

_{HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON}

Cheryl Corazzi (Essex)

So sorry to heard about Bill.  Hope this is not serious. Please keep us informed 🙏🙏

Nova Guynes

Bill - You are in my prayers, get better soon.

Bob Lewis

Bill, we are praying for you. Get well soon.

Bill Williams

Bill, we are praying for you

W Leggett

HI EVERYONE. I AM BACK HOME, WITH A LONG LIST OF DO'S AN DON'T DO. 

MY REMODEL OF THE BATHROOM IS ON HOLD FOR A WHILE. HAD A HEART STINT PUT IN. 

THAT and Being told to slow down and cut the coffee out. Take these pills every day.
Have to change my name from Wildman to Oldman.  All because of a Stint being put in my Heart. two days ago. 

W Leggett

Cheryl Corazzi (Essex)

Well I'm glad you are home and I see that your sense of humor has not been affected. Stay the course and follow the doctor's advice. 

Connie Schuerman (Von Dielingen)

Hi Bill - so great hearing  that all is well with you ! 

Nova Guynes

Bill - Don't worry about being one of us Old Guys, we will just keep doing dump struff only slower.